Each month my vagina bleeds. Am I normal?

Sometimes it arrives and sometimes it does not. When it does not arrive and you were waiting for it, it is possible for you to not shit in all of humanity. However, even if you arrive, you will not jump to happiness, because your levels of bad host are so high that Satan will go on vacation to give you his place. Is that having the chichi dripping blood and unfertilized eggs is not as wonderful as it may seem .

So, if it’s still not clear, today I’ll talk about menstruation.

The first thing to know about this, is that it is a wonderful gift from God that only women have been lucky to receive, along with cellulite. The second is that it is more annoying than a Calippo in the ass in winter.

The symptoms that characterize this physiological process are several: from the aforementioned satanic humor, through pains scattered in various parts of the body, nausea, dizziness, prostration and hanging from a swing upside down, the latter according to Evax. Another characteristic element is the chromatic change of the blood, but only in the advertisements of compresses, where red turns blue. Well, it’s a bit contradictory because none of us feels more aristocratic in those days with that increase in gas and flatulence.

Although all women every month have to deal with menstruation, no one likes to talk about it and we are the first to feel uncomfortable and embarrassed about this issue. Good thing, it is also not a plan to put a sign around the neck with the text “I’m bleeding my vagina but nothing happens, look at me like I’m a normal person” . Wearing a star on the clothes would be enough, perhaps, but it would be better to talk about it without lowering our voice, because when we tell someone that our back or head hurts, we do not whisper. We do not feel uncomfortable … not so wet, of course.

This stigmatization has meant that, in 2014, feminists appropriated the concept of “free-bleeding”, born at first as a joke on the English page of 4chan memes. In that joke, women were encouraged to refrain from using sanitary products, such as tampons or compresses, in order to “bleed freely” during the period and, in addition, to convince them that tampons are a tool of oppression of patriarchy. The joke ended up becoming a real movement whose best known case is that of Kiran Gandhi (battery of M.I.A), who in 2015 participated in the London marathon with the rule and without a tampon; that is, she made the whole journey bleeding like she was the protagonist of a Tarantino movie . Kiran knew that the red looked good on her and gave her face brightness, but she did not do it for that, but for “The sisters who do not have access to tampons and who, despite the cramps and pain, they have to hide it and pretend that it does not exist. I ran to say yes, it exists “. Because many countries do not have the privileges that we have, privileges that are under the umbrella of human rights: food, drinking water, health and not dying from a menstrual hemorrhage, among others.

Of course the decision of Kiran Gandhi received many negative reviews and even threats, however he took the step so that the feeling of shame and dirt associated with menstruation was less and less oppressive. So, in 2015, the Canadian poet Rupi Kaur posted on Instagram a photo of herself in bed, on her back, with a menstrual blood stain on both her pajamas and the sheets. The photo, taken for a university project that challenged the opinions of society on a specific topic without the use of words, was censored twice by Instagram for violating its Terms of Use. That is, besides hating female nipples , Instagram also despises the rule. And the truth is that it is a shame, with how nice the red would be with the new logo. Despite this, the photo went viral and Instagram ended up apologizing saying “Oh, oysters, it was menstrual blood, not an anal tear!” .

Although in some countries menstruation combined with a shortage of resources can mean a risk to the health of women, in others, where labor rights are fundamental, women can ask for a few days of menstrual low . China, which has always been the highest defender of labor rights, fuck, China, leaves women free to bleed and suffer peacefully at home, without working . The Chinese, capito? And the same happens in Japan, Taiwan, Indonesia, South Korea and at Nike headquarters. And all this I wanted to detail so that the concept of low menstrual was known by my boss. Because as Ausonia has taught me, in those days what I most want is to throw myself with the parachute from a helicopter without fear that the tampon ends up piercing my cervix by the speed of descent.

And since this is the magazine of your brand of puterío, you will be wondering if the prostitutes work with the rule. Well, surely there will be clients who would like to be draped, but in those days the girls prefer not to serve. You know, they’re busy bungee jumping.