The other day I wanted to do an experiment with my parents, the goal was to find out how much they know about social networks. The result confirmed what he already thought: they are aware that there is something called like that but they have no idea how it works or what it is for. I tried to explain it to them but after a while I realized that the reason of these tools is nothing more than one: to feed the ego of the people – and the blood flow between the legs – with the publication of sexual photos.
That’s right, dear parents, your children are on social networks doing shit. Quiet, in some networks have to lower testosterone levels and prostitution because there are very rigid rules and if not end up blocking the account. So they have to adapt and as much they can teach the eyelet. For example, on Instagram it is allowed to teach it from any perspective but the nipples, for the love of the sky, the nipples do not. I speak specifically of women’s nipples, which are much more vulgar and offensive than those of men, it is very clear.
In my case Instagram has deleted several photos and a video and I closed the account once and, on Facebook, I have deleted I do not know how many photos. For bitchery, I suppose.
We will see from closer the levels of sexuality of each network, from the lowest position to the highest:
In the fifth position, with a score of 4/10, we find Facebook . If you like simplicity, this is your place, but if you prefer sexuality, you are in the wrong place. Facebook is the network of happy young parents with their newborns and their first little cakes, couples in love and their romantic weekends in Cuenca, passionate but poorly written dedications that make you want to tear your eyes and throw yourself for a fifth floor (“I was born to drink with you”, “Love, the only thing I want is to assure happiness”, “I feel my life does not make sense”) and little else. If your children are on Facebook, you can have quiet dreams and simply feel embarrassed.
With a score of 7/10, in the fourth position we have Twitter . Here you have to be very good at creating short sentences, since the maximum allowed is 140 characters. It may seem a limitation but no, it does not really matter because to take a picture on all fours no characters are needed, and also a Twitpic has only 24. Yes, on Twitter you can express your children creatively: tits, eyelets, chichis, cocks, penetrations and, throwing to the most insane end, black humor phrases or articles of politics. Twitter is the network that all porn stars use and, of course, your children follow … guess why. If your children frequent this network, perhaps your dreams are somewhat disturbed by the noise of your offspring masturbating. The KH7, dear parents, remove any stain.
Third, we have Instagram, with a score of 8 shooting at 9/10 as a guardian . I already said that this network does not allow to publish feminine nipples, but if your daughter covers them with some stars or other graphic resources, then ok, for Instagram it is not classifiable as a whore, but as an extroverted girl. Here, in addition, you will find millions of selfies made in the bathroom mirror. Yes, the bathroom of your house, dear parents. That by the way, go to more crappy toilets. If during the day they spend a lot of time locked up there, they are taking photos in suggestive poses. And with “suggestive” I mean “bitchy”, in case it was not clear. Do your children have an Instagram account? Then forget about having sweet dreams because your nightmare has just begun.
Tumblr ranks second on the most dirty social networks, with a score of 10/10 pulling to 20 or more . We are in the realm of the most refined amateur: cum on the face, years open with bottles of Xibeca, vaginas dripping like broken faucets and many, many loving kittens. So you can understand me better: Tumblr is like Youporn but much more realistic, since your children come out in balls and in your home. Find out if your descendants are there is very complicated because all the profiles are anonymous. The solution would be to recognize the bathroom of your house, dear parents. Or if you have a very close and intimate relationship with them you can try to recognize those boobs that bounce in a loop in a GIF or that hand that is jerked to the rhythm of Rihanna in a video. Do your children frequent Tumblr? Well, you’re screwed.
And the undisputed winner of the dirtiest networks is Snapchat . Dear and innocent parents, Snapchat is what allows your children to send all kinds of very guarded videos knowing that after 10 seconds it will disappear forever without leaving any trace (or almost, because the screenshot exists ). Snapchat is a very funny application because it gives the possibility to create videos with faces of fantasy characters, giant emojis or various animals, although the most successful is the little face of zorrón, what a coincidence! Knowing that these videos have a life of 10 seconds, for the sake of your mental health I advise you NOT to try to imagine what is clear that happens in Snapchat. Just think that we, who are a local girl company, are afraid to be there.
Photos of a Snapchat user
The list of social networks could continue with another 10 pages, but in an hour I have an appointment with a guy and as I hope to fuck, I have to shave and I have no time to continue writing. Despite this, before putting an end to this article, I want you to know a newborn from the world of social networks: Periscope is called and is an application that promises a lot, especially high levels of sex and psychosis. It is a few days ago the sad news of the first violation in streaming occurred exactly in Periscope. Yes, dear and naive parents, you have read well.
As always, the real problem is not technological progress, but the use we make of it; because technology is not bad, it is the human being that is. And, apart from being bad, it is the most dirty and perverse thing that has given birth to this planet, with or without social networks.
