How many types of penis exist? It is a question that is repeated throughout the history of humanity and that, so far, no philosopher has been able to answer. Not even Google has been able to do it, because when I search for “types of dicks” the results are limited to blogs rankings of cuquis women that only differentiate between penis mushroom, banana penis and little else.
We have been neglecting the complexity of the virile member, the phallus is not a simple cylinder of blood, it has feelings (think that there is the brain of man). All this disregard is the fault of the heteropatriarchy, led by micropenes like Donald Trump, who do not want the phallus to be studied, because when yours measures one centimeter it is difficult to have other properties such as thickness or inclination.
After years of study, my research has paid off … with a lot, a lot of juice. After much swallow inquire I realized one thing: there are 12 variables in the virile member, with their relevant categories. If we combine them we discover that there are 559,872 types of cipotes, roughly. But do not label yourself, dear, every cock is unique and unrepeatable, like you.
Fallacy nº1: Much longer, Much better. The depth of the vagina varies from 8 to 11 cm on average, that means that with a size M penis you can “put it to the bottom” without quotes. Can you imagine women fighting over the length of our pussies? “Micro-vagina!” or “Good luck, aunt, you’re going to raffle yourself with that chopper” .
I’m going to make a confession: Several of my best fuck have been with XS whistles . “How it can be ?”, You ask the co-centrists, and I will answer that in sex not everything is the catch-up and that the guys with tiny pichas usually have some magical hands, among other qualities.
Many men believe that length is all that a tail needs and that is why many men fuck badly. Those who have it long trust and those who have it are small complex. Yes, if your minga measures 22 cm you have a lot of cattle , showing it to me * you will cause it to salivate above and below, but until you do not hit it GOOD, it will be all an illusion.
*A note to avoid confusion: show me if I ask, do not send me fotopollas social networks, that does not make me salivate, makes me call the police.
If you have a fat cock, you do not have to care how long it is, but if you have a long fat you should care about one thing: do not hurt whoever gets it. The monstercocks (PornHub nomenclature) should be experts in eating chirlas. What do I say? everyone should be, but the chicks in particular, my chichi needs a lot of lubrication before the shark takes it,
What the fuck! Let’s talk about my anus: now he accepts all kinds of instruments, but at first he repudiated fat cocks, and that is that the narrow ones are ideal for first-timers in the art of sodomy. So do not do like Ylenia when she laughed at Labrador’s “pollafideo” , then all penises have their use : Melania Trump uses her husband’s one as a stick.
The trunk of the minga is like a homemade gypsy arm : it is not regular, it makes you want to eat and it is filled with cream. If you do not want that cream to leave you pregnant, keep an eye on the pyramidal penises: condoms tend to squeeze up with friction. However, this polyhedral form is very positive for anal sex, because it opens the sphincter little by little. No, I’m not obsessed with anal sex, I just enjoy all the points of pleasure that my body has, everyone should do it.
All political positions are valid as long as they respect others. Whether you are left or right, I advise you to look for positions and movements that take advantage of your member’s curve to rub your neighbor’s clitoris and give him maximum pleasure. I advise our politicians the same.
There are completely straight drums, neither left or right, neither optimistic or pessimistic, but that does not mean they are perfect, I will not tire of saying that all phalluses are. For example, those that look up are perfect to stimulate the clitoris in the missionary posture, those that look down stimulate it very well on all fours, and the penis hooks adapt wonderfully to your esophagus for a deep throat .
Enough to say that the mushroom cocks are ugly, all the creatures of the lord are beautiful, what a glande discrimination! That’s it, I already put the joke for which I did all this post. No, seriously, do not mess with mushroom mingas, they have their advantages. If they make dildos of a thousand shapes and sizes it’s for something, if not all the dildos would be clones of Nacho Vidal’s cock. The only drawback I see in these whistles is the difficulty of putting a condom on them.
If you have clicked on a cock with phimosis, you should go see the doctor to remove that skin that imprisons your glans. If you have clicked on “uncircumcised” my advice is that you clean it well and often, if you do not want to look like Torrente. I would also tell the girls and / or guys that you sleep with to be swallowed to the bottom and let them embed without mercy, but be careful with your frenulum. If your member is circumcised you are in luck, because a survey between the escorts of Apricots say it’s the favorite among the public.
One day I shot an ugly uncle just because his forearm was very marked with veins. What a pleasant surprise to discover that his handlebar too! I ate so much that I vomited. No, that’s a joke! I always swallow it.
Some of them like very large eggs, and others and others, marbles, but there is a combination that almost nobody likes: huge eggs + tiny penis. Sorry, I know I said all the tails are pretty, but I was lying, this is not.
According to Apricots University studies, girls prefer it short. But having an extroverted scrotum has its advantages: you can feel a pornstar every time you throw a powder, mostly because of the plach plach plach that you hear in each attack. Although I tell you one thing, over the years everything falls and you will end up having all the eggs hung , if you do not believe it, go to the beach of Mar Bella in Barcelona.
It is not worth answering how you wear it if not how much hair you have, enough attention we already dedicate to male hair removal and other WTFs in another Behind the Obscene article . If your tail is rather small remember this premise: without weeds the tree seems bigger.
There are two types of dick: blood and meat. Those of meat are more showy, being or not spliced always have a good size. But the blood ones are more surprising, although they may seem small they can increase up to ten times their size with the erection. That’s because of the “caverns” (the cavities of the penis intended to flood with blood flow), the blood cocks have the caverns bigger than the meat caverns , that makes the meat caverns look like larger when they are flaccid.
If you do not have a tail because you are a woman and you are anxious to interact with this wonderful content, write in the comments which is your perfect minga and which one you like least.
After this exciting and exhaustive classification, I leave you with two downloadable documents that everyone should have in their homes: The ultimate guide to cock types and a template to measure the cock.
And relax, we will soon publish the definitive guide to the types of pussy. Subscribe to Behind the Obscene and stay tuned!
